Thursday, June 26, 2003
Today, upon awakening, I stumbled to the kitchen, flipped on the light, and found that (to my despair!) my gandules had swollen to near-mutant proportions.
I have called the hated Hegemon and told him that I will be unable to report for my regular shift at the Bureau of Reports and Records due to a "personal situation of dire importance."
I am applying ice as we speak, and hold out hope that my gandules will return to normal size within the day.
GO, AND NEVER COME BACK.
That is all.
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